8.
What Happened When He Came to America?
My parents lost friends, lost family ties and patterns of mutual assistance, lost rituals and habits and favorite
foods, lost any link to an ongoing social milieu, lost a good part of the sense they had of themselves. We
lost a house, several towns, various landscapes.We lost documents and pictures and heirlooms, as well as
most of our breakable belongings, smashed in the nine packing cases that we took with us to America. We
lost connection to a thing larger than ourselves, and as a family failed to make any significant new
connection in exchange, so that we were left aground on a sandbar barely big enough for our feet. I lost
friends and relatives and stories and familiar comforts and a sense of continuity between home and outside
and any sense that I was normal. I lost half a language through want of use and eventually, in my late
teens, even lost French as the language of my internal monologue. And I lost a whole network of routes
through life that I had just barely glimpsed.
Hastening on toward some idea of a future, I only half-realized these losses, and when I did realize I didn't
disapprove, and sometimes I actively colluded. At some point, though, I was bound to notice that there was
a gulf inside me, with a blanketed form on the other side that hadn't been uncovered in decades.My project
of self-invention had been successful, so much so that I had become a sort of hydroponic vegetable,
growing soil-free. But I had been formed in another world; everything in me that was essential was owed to
immersion in that place, and that time, that I had so effectively renounced.
[ . . . . ]
Like it or not, each of us is made, less by blood or genes than by a process that is largely accidental, the
impact of things seen and heard and smelled and tasted and endured in those few years before our clay
hardens. Offhand remarks, things glimpsed in passing, jokes and commonplaces, shop displays and
climate and flickering light and textures of walls are all consumed by us and become part of our fiber, just
as much as the more obvious effects of upbringing and socialization and intimacy and learning.
Every human being is an archeological site.
--Luc Sante, from The Factory of Facts (1998)
In the first paragraph, the writer lists more than a dozen things that he and his family lost when they
immigrated to America. He does this in order to